ESPN tabs 450-pound Comedian as Celebrity Face of the Razorbacks

Part raptor, part Arkansan ... all Hog fan?

Part raptor, part Arkansan … all Hog fan?

Every major program has a legitimate celebrity fan. While that doesn’t mean everybody is blessed with an Ashley Judd, big-time schools can always produce, at minimum, a Marco Rubio by sheer dint of a humongous alumni base. For many Arkansans, President Bill Clinton has become the torchbearer of SuperFan Number One-dom. And, in my mind, if it’s not Clinton it’s John Daly decked in cardinal red and strutting into mass cultural consciousness, snout held high.

Turns out I’ve been hopelessly out of the loop.

An upcoming ESPN documentary has tabbed Razorbacks’ signature celeb fan as a Los Angeles-based comedian who, according to Pandora, is characterized by the following attributes: “anectodes,” “surprising misdirections” and “jokes about handicaps.”

Yes, it’s 450 pound Ralphie May of Comedy Central fame. He is clearly famous, and will become even more so on August 14 when the SEC Nework airs a documentary that profiles 14 famous figures — each representing a different SEC college — who “spill their emotions and explain why they’ll never forget where they came from.”

My first question after reading the press release: “Vanderbilt has a celebrity fan?”

Apparently, yes. The statement goes on to list some of the potential candidates: Charlie Daniels, Amy Robach, Jonathan Papelbon, Melissa Joan Hart, Emmitt Smith, Shepard Smith, Darius Rucker, James Carville and Governor Rick Perry. You tell me who wins the lucky prize, though, because my Googling finger is tired right now.

Second question: “What are Big Boy’s Hog bonafides?”

May was born in Tennessee, but he was reared in Clarksville and spent some time in high school in Winslow and Fayetteville. Both his sisters are UA grads, as are his mom and dad. Wait, it gets more impressive: Mommy May was a UA homecoming queen and at one time dated the former All-SWC Billy Ray Smith, Sr. And dad is fraternity bros with Jimmie Johnson and Don Tyson, May said on this Ugly Uncle Show interview,

Some time around 1990, the comedian Sam Kinison encouraged the teenage May to move to Houston for more exposure. But before he left, he did things like “kill” an air conditioner with a crossbow. Listen to the interview for more stuff like that. Definitely check out the 20:35 mark, where May unleashes a nugget that has an approximately 0.00% chance of being repeated on the upcoming SEC Network special.

It happened in the early 1980s, at a Razorback home game, and features a young May spying a young state governor in the stands: “Bill Clinton has got two hot, hot girls from Fayetteville with him, drunk and pawin’ em,” May recalled. “It’s weird because later his inclination was toward fat girls … We were like ‘That’s the governor of the state of Arkansas right there, making out with two chicks. Oh my God!’ It was hilarious. Everybody got up to call the Hogs and Bill Clinton was making out with these girls… I never wanted to vote for a man more in my life.”

That day, May took delight in more than Clinton’s deft political touch and the game, which the Hogs won. He also recalled  post-game visits to Mr. Burger, where he was able to use ticket stubs to buy a cheeseburger, coke and fries for a mere $1. “Man, we’d go and knock them out. Oh God. That Mr. Burger was so good gettin’ into my mouth, ohhh.”

Let’s say, hypothetically, you wish ESPN Films didn’t broadcast this man unto the rest of the world as the Face of the Razorbacks. Who would you prefer? Any other non-politician/non-former UA athletes* out there who are legit national celebrities and have publicly shown love for the Razorbacks?

You'd be throwing up, too, if your mom dated a Billy Ray Smith.

You’d be throwin’ ‘em up, too, if your mom dated a Billy Ray Smith.

*Here’s an at-times preposterous, but lengthy, list of candidates via Hogville.

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5 Comments on “ESPN tabs 450-pound Comedian as Celebrity Face of the Razorbacks”

  1. Frisco Hog says:

    Given the football program is building a reputation on the big uglies in the trenches this pick has a kind of poetic ring to it.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Jermaine Taylor

  3. Anonymous says:

    Joe Nichols…

  4. Anonymous says:

    Justin Moore


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